Sunday, January 6, 2013

Mom's Birthday

Today is Mom's birthday.  I looked back at the blog I wrote about her last year on her birthday.  I realized in reading through it did not make the best sense.  I know I must have been emotional when I wrote it.  I hope you could figure out what I meant to say.  I have a feeling this one may not be the best written piece either but I have to say something about Mom on her special day.

Mom was a simple country girl who was very intelligent, very quiet, very loving and most of all a Godly woman.  She loved her husband and family dearly.  I think of her every day but she has been heavy on my mind all this week as her birthday was approaching.

I wish I could be half the woman she was.  As I was preparing to teach at the jail tonight I thought about what she would want me to teach.  I ended up teaching a lesson on putting faith into action, selflessly loving those around you.  I think she would have liked the lesson.

It was communion Sunday at church this morning and at the jail tonight.  The thought of Jesus' body broken for me and His blood shed for me takes on a whole new dimension for me since Mom and Dad were killed.  Because of Christ's sacrifice I know I will be reunited with them again.

I love you Mom and I am grateful for the many lessons you taught me throughout my life.  I am grateful that I was able to worship with you and cook for you the day before you died.  I am grateful that I told you I loved you as we hugged before you and Dad hit the road for Missouri.

I strive to live by the "life verses" you sent me when I was just 17 years old:

Proverbs 3:5-7 (The Message)

Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
    don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
    he’s the one who will keep you on track.

Happy Birthday, Mom!  I love you!

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Another New Year

2013 is officially here.  In many ways it just does not seem possible that it has come.  Another New Year celebration.  I have to be honest.  I did not feel like celebrating.

It has been several weeks since I have written in my blog.  Many times I sat down thinking I was ready to write and ended up staring at a blank screen.  I just could not write.  It seems that this holiday season has been harder on me than last year was.  Maybe I just do not remember last year.  Do not get me wrong.  I enjoyed being with my kids and grandkids.  It was so much fun watching them open their presents and just spending time together.  But I feel a big hole in my heart.

I miss Mom and Dad so much that it hurts.

I had a call from the lead detective on Mom and Dads case two weeks ago.  He really did not have much to report but it was good to hear from him.  I worry that the detectives are working too hard on the case.  I pleaded with him to take time for his family.  As much as I want justice for Mom and Dad, solving this double homicide case will not bring Mom and Dad back.  Their families are here now.  This day is the only day we can count on.

I believe the main thing I have learned through this ordeal is to enjoy today.  Enjoy the people I am with right now.  Enjoy what I do every day.  Do not wish for tomorrow for it will bring a whole new set of problems.

Matthew 6:34 (The Message)

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

When combined with Psalm 118:24 it becomes clear that God wants us to live in the present moment.  Today.  

Psalm 118:24 (English Standard Version)

This is the day that the Lord has made;
    let us rejoice and be glad in it.

 Enjoy this moment every day all year long!