Uncle Virgil

It's the Saturday before we go to trial and my Uncle Virgil is in the hospital. I took Aunt Sis home yesterday when we found out he was being taken by ambulance to Barnes Jewish hospital in St. Louis. Thankfully, by nephew, Dr. Mark Willingham (and yes, I emphasize Doctor quite proudly!), is in residency there. Even though his speciality is anesthesiology, it is a comfort to know he can keep an eye on Uncle Virgil and check in on him from time to time. 

Aunt Sis, my Mom's sister and best friend, knows she has to be by her husbands side but a part of her really wants to be here for the trial. As I was taking her home yesterday she said she had waited five years for this trial and now she cannot attend. She wanted to be here for my brothers and I as well as seeking justice for her sister and brother-in-law's untimely death at the hands of a knife wielding intruder. Of course, we want her to be at Uncle Virgil's side and we know Mom would want her to be with him as well. No doubt about that!

Uncle Virgil is a wonderful man! He was so much fun to be around as I was growing up. Whenever we would be getting together with family, as soon as we saw Uncle Virgil, we attacked him...literally! He loved wrestling with us! Even with all three of my brothers and I jumping on him, he was able to handle every one of us tossing us around and delighting us to no end. As small children, we would scream, "Do me some 'gain, Uncle Virgil!" He and Aunt Sis loved taking us to ball games, playing ball with us, shooting fireworks, and taking us fishing and camping. What fun we had! So many memories! As my kids grew up, Uncle Virgil and Aunt Sis did the same with them. It was beautiful to listen to my kids as they told stories that were also my stories of such fun with Uncle Virgil and Aunt Sis after they returned home from spending a week or so with them!

I am truly blessed! I have such a beautiful family. I was so loved growing up and am still loved by this wonderful family of mine. Yes, Mom and Dad's lives were brutally taken but they are walking streets of gold. Yes, I want justice for this crime, but I have much to rejoice about. Thank you, Lord, for allowing me the privilege of being loved by my family. I am so grateful for every one of my beautiful family members, especially my Uncle Virgil! Please join me in praying for his quick and speedy recovery.

I John 3:18 (The Voice)

My little children, don't just talk about love as an idea or a theory. Make it your true way of life, and live in the pattern of gracious love.

Thank you for showing me what love looks like, Uncle Virgil. 

Do me some 'gain, Uncle Virgil! I love you more than words can ever say!

Baptism

On January 10, 2016 my grandson, Kristopher was baptized. He's only 6 years old but he made the decision to ask Jesus to come into his heart and forgive him of all his sins. He was excited about being baptized. He wanted everyone to know of his decision.

As we drove to church that morning there was a most glorious rainbow! It encircled the sun. I found out later that it is actually called a sun dog.  It's a phenomenon that occurs when there are a lot of ice crystals in the atmosphere. It was striking, to say the least as you can see in this picture!

Kris felt sure that God put that rainbow in the sky that morning because He was so happy that Kris had made this decision! I assured him that, indeed, He was! It is the most important decision he will ever make in his life!

When Kris was a baby, his parents dedicated him to the Lord in the church pictured above, First United Methodist in Springfield, IL. The church graciously allowed my Dad to preside over the dedication. He almost preached an entire sermon during the process talking about the importance of raising our children in the Lord. My daughter, Stacie, is certainly doing a beautiful job of raising her children to know and love the Lord!

Kris was baptized at our present church, Real Life, in Springfield, IL. Real Life Church had supported Mom and Dad in some of their mission work. The children's director who baptized Kris, Renee McCoy, had known my parents. While we are waiting for the trial in Mom and Dad's case to begin, it is a comfort to know that their work is continuing through the thousands of people that were impacted by their lives! God allowed them to be taken and He has the victory!

It's not a very good picture, but this is Mom, Dad, and Kristopher around the time of his dedication although this picture was taken in Springfield, MO in the the home where Mom and Dad were murdered. You can see a family portrait over their fireplace. That picture meant a lot to Mom. It was taken about 5 or 6 years prior to this photo. All of their children, children's spouses, and their grandchildren are in this picture. When we were packing up and cleaning out Mom and Dad's house, this was the last thing left. I broke down and told my brother, Dave, I could not bear to take that picture down. It meant so much to Mom! Dave tenderly and gently put his arm around me and said, "It's ok, sis. We don't have to take it down." I know he had to go back and take it down later but it meant so much to me to walk out of that house for the last time knowing that picture was still there. I pray that I will have a lasting impact on my family as Mom and Dad did on theirs!

2 Samuel 7:28-29 (The Message)

"And now, Master God, being the God you are, speaking sure words as you do, and having just said this wonderful thing to me, please, just one more thing: Bless my family; keep your eye on them always. You've already as much as said that you would. Master GOD! Oh, may your blessing be on my family permanently!" 

Forgiveness

I have struggled to write and it's evident by the fact that I haven't written here for well over a year! Please forgive me as I feel led to write about forgiveness! We are finally going to trial in Mom & Dad's case. Jury selection will be next week. Opening statements will begin Monday January 25th. While it's a few days later than expected, I am anxiously awaiting an end to this part. Even though it will not change anything, it will be a relief to have this over with.

On Tuesday of this week my cousin's daughter, Robin Casey, died. She was far too young and leaves behind a precious 3 year old boy and 5 year old girl. It is heartbreaking, to say the least. While losing Mom & Dad the way we did was tragic, at least they had lived long, full lives. Robin did not have that opportunity and now her beautiful children have to grow up without their sweet Mama!

Oh, the brevity of life! I am struck all over again by the fact that we do not know what tomorrow holds! I am grateful that I serve a Sovereign God! He was not surprised when Mom and Dad were stabbed to death in their own little home and He was not surprised when Robin took her last breath. I am reminded all over again the depth of trust that we MUST place in our Lord!

I have also been thinking of forgiveness as I will face the young man accused of killing my parents. I taught on it last week when I went to the jail. It was more for me than it was for the wonderful women in our Bible study there. We do not know when it may be too late to offer forgiveness! We may not live until tomorrow!

The Bible has much to say about forgiveness. In teaching on prayer in Matthew 6, Jesus gives us The Lord's Prayer. It's a prayer we are all familiar with but it's followed by 2 little verses that we often want to overlook. Matthew 6:14-15 (New Living Translation): If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.

The Message version reads: Matthew 6:14-15 In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can’t get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God’s part.

The bottom line is if we not only want God to hear our prayers, but if we want His forgiveness for our sins, we have to forgive others. This is not a suggestion. It is a command. It does not offer any exceptions either. They didn't ask me for forgiveness...they didn't apologize for what they did...they refuse to forgive me for things I did so I will not forgive them...etc. No excuse is good enough. We must forgive. Period.

Who do you need to forgive? Oh my friend, offer forgiveness today before it is too late. You may not be given tomorrow.

Lord, help me to genuinely forgive Jose Huckleberry even AFTER I hear all the details of how Mom & Dad were murdered. May he come to know Your saving grace that he will be forgiven as You have forgiven me of so much! May the one reading this offer forgiveness to those You bring to mind so they, too, will be forgiven. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Mark 11:25 (The Voice) When you pray, if you remember anyone who has wronged you, forgive him so that God above can also forgive you.

Special Days

This week of September is always hard.  Dad's birthday is September 4th.  Mom and Dad's anniversary is September 10th.  So of course, I think about them a lot during this week.  But God, in His infinite wisdom has two other special days in this same time frame.

My grandson, Jayden, was born smack dab in the middle of those two special days, September 7th.  We gathered at my daughter's home to celebrate three whole years of life this year. Ironic since it is also the third year since Mom and Dad were killed.  And even though "our" family was way out numbered by my son-in-laws family, it was still good to be together.  My Aunt Sis, Uncle Virgil along with all of my children and grandchildren were there (although we certainly missed Grace, Mike's girlfriends daughter).  It was nice to watch all the cousins playing together and, as Aunt Sis said, making memories.

It is good to have a celebration of life in the middle of these two days because certainly Mom and Dad live!  They are more alive than we are!  Jesus was not kidding when He said, I come that they might have life and have it more abundantly!  

The other special day is also September 10th.  It is my "little" brother, Stephen's birthday.  I want to make it perfectly clear that Stephen is a year older than me.  I only call him my little brother because I have three brothers and he is the youngest of the three but I have the honor of being the baby of the family.  

Mom and Dad were married in 1952.  My oldest brother, Doug, was born in 1954.  Dave was next in 1955 and then Stephen in 1956.  By now I am sure you are able to guess that I came along the following year, 1957.  Clearly, the wedding anniversary came first in this succession of events.  I remember one year when I was about 11 or 12 years old we were celebrating Stephens birthday and Mom and Dads anniversary.  Sitting at the dinner table, Dave had an epiphany moment and blurted out to Mom, "Why did you and Dad get married on STEPHENS birthday?!"  I can still hear him saying and that and laugh when I think about it.  For those of you who know Dave, you understand it perfectly!

On this day which would have been Mom and Dad's 62nd anniversary, I shout out an extra Happy Birthday to my dear brother, Stephen who is, and always will be, one year older than me!  I hope you have a very special day especially knowing that Mom and Dad are celebrating their anniversary in heaven.  Always know that Mom and Dad loved you so much, they got married on your birthday!

Psalm 118:23-25 The Message

This is God's work.

   We rub our eyes - we can hardly believe it!

This is the very day God acted -

    Let's celebrate and be festive!

Salvation now, God.  Salvation now!

    Oh yes, God - a free and full life!

It Is Not All About Me

I love my ladies at the jail!  The group changes often because it is a jail but I dearly love them all!  There was a lady there for several months whom I will call Angela (just like Dragnet, I have changed the names).  At first she did not want to come to Bible study but after a while she began sitting in.  A bit longer and she was participating.  After a few more weeks she accepted Jesus into her heart.  She began reading her Bible, praying, and growing in the Lord.  It was beautiful!

The day of her release was growing nearer and she was excited.  She was ready to go home.  She talked of getting back into church and staying clean.  She was only a few weeks away from her release date when something else popped up.  It was discovered that another county had a warrant out on her for an old charge.  Her release date was now put on hold.  She would be taken to the other county for a court appearance before she would be released.  She was devastated.  She was ready to give up on God.  How could He do this to her?  She began to question her new found faith.

I gave her some Scriptures to read and tried to reassure her that God still had a plan for her life.  He was still in control and He still loved her more than she would ever know.  She got through her doubt and decided that she would trust God even though she did not understand why she should spend more time in jail.  She determined herself to keep walking in faith. 

Another week or two went by when she got a new cell mate whom I will call Linda.  This young lady was scared and hurting.  Angela witnessed to her.  Shared Scripture with her.  Prayed with her. When I came the following Sunday night Linda was ready to receive Christ into her heart.  After she gave her life to the Lord she told me she was ready to take that step because of Angela.  She told me how Angela had helped her and witnessed to her.

I turned to Angela and said, "So if you had gone home when you were originally supposed to go, who would have been here for Linda?  God used you to bring her to salvation!  Congratulations, you have just laid up your first treasure in heaven!"  Angela's eyes brightened as she realized what God had done.  Her life had value!  She was of use to God!  She was so excited.  She said every extra day she had spent in jail was well worth it!  She went home the following week.

Now Linda is growing in her faith.  Last week Linda got a new cell mate.  Guess what?  Linda began ministering to her.  Witnessed to her.  Shared Scripture with her and prayed for her.  When I went to the jail for Bible study last night, Linda's new cell mate was ready to commit her life to the Lord!  It is a beautiful thing when we share what God has done for us.  It is so simple and yet so powerful!

Most of you know that my Mom and Dad were murdered in their home over three years ago.  They had been at my house the day before.  While I was at the jail that Sunday night, Mom had texted me that they had made it home just fine. Little did I know those texts were to be my last communication with her.  When I came out to my car that night and saw her message, I replied that I had enjoyed our visit and that two ladies had been saved at the jail that night.  Her response was simply, "Hallelujah!"  

Hallelujah indeed!

Luke 15:7 The Message

Count on it - there's more joy in heaven over one sinner's rescued life than over ninety-nine good people in no need of rescue.

Three Years

It was three years ago this morning that my parents were brutally stabbed to death in their own home.  In some ways it seems it was a lifetime ago and in other ways it seems like just yesterday they were at my house celebrating Easter.  My friend, Bob Grossman, commented that he sat behind us at the sunrise service that morning.  My adopted momma, Barb Zuspann, met my dad at the church breakfast that same morning as well. 

The phone call from my dear brother, Dave the next morning was almost surreal.  It just could not be.  They had just been at my house the day before.  What was he talking about?  Mom and Dad both dead?  But it was real.  In the blink of an eye they were gone.

In the years since I have been through a plethora of emotions.  For the most part I have been okay but the times when I am not - when life seems to keep throwing me more curve balls - I have sincerely doubted my ability and my willingness to keep going.  Just when I think I'm fodder for the looney pen God's peace comes through and I continue on. 

The constants in my life are many and I know God put all of them there.  My family, kids and now grandkids no less, what a blessing!  My ladies Bible study group - Praying Heiresses on Demand (PhD's), my mixed small group, Sinners and Saints, and the ladies of cell block C in Sangamon County Jail.  They all have blessed me richly and keep me going!

But one other constant that God brought to me is Danielle Loftus.  In a tragic jet ski accident July, 2010, this beautiful 14 year old girl suffered a traumatic brain injury.  Since that time she cannot eat, talk, walk, or even voluntarily move her limbs.  God has laid it on my heart to pray for her.  Nearly every Friday afternoon I go to her house and pray for her healing. 

I know God will heal her.  He has spoken to me that her healing is here.  He has shown me that her miraculous healing will usher in a wave of revival unlike any we have ever experienced here before!  Dad had prayed for and saw many people healed in the years before his death.  He seemed to be most effective when praying for people with head and back problems.  That is Danielle.  My brother Stephen and I both prayed for a passing on of Mom and Dad's spirit after their deaths.  I feel Danielle's healing will come in part because of their faith.

Danielle has just turned 18.  Her class is graduating from high school this year.  She cannot get the years back but God can restore what has been taken from her and her family in other ways.  Let's throw a curve ball to Satan.  Please join me in praying for Danielle and her dear family.  Oh the joy that will be released when droves of people turn their hearts to The Lord!  God is moving and as a friend said recently, He is the ultimate multi-tasker!

Be sure to give your loved ones a kiss and a hug.  Tell them in no uncertain terms how much you love them.  There is no guarantee of tomorrow!

Genesis 50:19-21 (The Message)

Joseph replied, “Don’t be afraid. Do I act for God? Don’t you see, you planned evil against me but God used those same plans for my good, as you see all around you right now—life for many people. Easy now, you have nothing to fear; I’ll take care of you and your children.” He reassured them, speaking with them heart-to-heart.

Beth Moore

I have been privileged to see Beth Moore in person at a Living Proof Live event three times in the past four years. The first time was October, 2009.  Beth was coming to Springfield, IL.  I learned she was coming early in the year and told my daughters and Mom that for my birthday I wanted to go hear Beth Moore teach with my favorite girls.  I bought the tickets, Mom and Dad came into town and off we went to see Beth while the guys hung out.

It was amazing!  Beth taught on John the Baptist.  Afterward I was in the kitchen getting ready for dinner. Mom and Dad were in the living room and Mom was going through her notes telling Dad the highlights of what she had learned.  It was so sweet listening to her.

I found out that Beth was coming to St. Louis the following June so I got tickets for my daughter, Mom, and Dad to go. He was one of a handful of men with a whole bunch of women but he did not care. That weekend she taught on the image of God.  She literally began with Genesis 1 and ended with Revelation 22. She nearly hit on every book in between.  My head was swimming by the end but it was well worth it!  My parents really enjoyed it and we talked about what we had learned for months!

Little did I know that the following April they would be killed.  I am so grateful that we went to hear the in depth teaching on God's Word together.

When I heard that Beth was coming to Springfield again this October and I knew I had to be there.  I was blessed to have my daughters go with me. Beth taught on John Mark, the quitter. John Mark came from a well-to-do home. He had a fairly easy life. He went on a mission trip with Barnabas and Paul but when the going got rough he quit and went back home. Thankfully, Barnabas did not quit on him.  He took John Mark under his wing and mentored him. He went from being a quitter to a worker.

He ended up leaving the easy life behind to serve his Lord. He worked on mission trips. He ministered to Paul and to Peter at different times when they were in prison. He was with each of them near the end of their lives. He went on to write the Gospel of Mark!

I am blessed to have Godly parents, Godly grandparents, Godly aunts and uncles, Godly cousins, Godly great grandparents...well you get the idea. But only I can do the things God leads me to do and go where God tells me to go.  No one else can do it for me.

Beth talked about each one of us being a stone as the temple of the Lord is rebuilt.  We all have a part in the building of the church.  She then commissioned us to go and do the things God is calling us to do.

In the weeks prior to Beth Moore coming to Springfield, God was working overtime in my life! It was to the point of being overwhelmed but in a very good way! I have never felt such peace and joy! I feel that God is ready to unleash His Spirit on our community. The things that Beth shared just confirmed what God was saying to me and so many other women that I have been praying with.

I will be sharing more about the coming spiritual awakening in the days to come. Honestly, I am still trying to sort it all out! In the meantime, consider the Scripture that Beth opened the Friday night session with:

Ephesians 2:18-22 (New Living Translation)

Now all of us can come to the Father through the same Holy Spirit because of what Christ has done for us. So now you Gentiles are no longer strangers and foreigners. You are citizens along with all of God's holy people. You are members of God's family. Together, we are his house, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. And the cornerstone is Christ Jesus himself. We are carefully joined together in him, becoming a holy temple for the Lord. Through him you Gentiles are also being made part of this dwelling where God lives by his Spirit.