This might sound weird to you but sometimes I feel guilty for mourning the loss of one of my parents. The other day I was really missing my Mom and started to cry just knowing I could not call her just to chat as we often would. I then began to feel guilty that I was just missing Mom at that moment. Why wasn't I missing Dad in the same way. The converse of that has been true as well.
There have been many times my heart has just ached at the loss of my Dad and then I'll feel that I am not giving Mom her full respect. So how do you pay due honor and homage to both? How do I grieve both of them at the same time? Why do I sometimes feel this way when I just happen to be thinking about one of them more than the other?
Truly if anyone has the answer, I would love to hear it! Next Wednesday will mark one year since they were killed. Some days I feel it is no easier now than it was that first week. What would I do without my God who strengthens me?
Joshua 1:5-9 (The Message)
All your life, no one will be able to hold out against you. In the same
way I was with Moses, I'll be with you. I won't give up on you; I won't
leave you. Strength! Courage! You are going to lead this people to
inherit the land that I promised to give their ancestors. Give it
everything you have, heart and soul. Make sure you carry out The
Revelation that Moses commanded you, every bit of it. Don't get off
track, either left or right, so as to make sure you get to where you're
going. And don't for a minute let this Book of The Revelation be out of
mind. Ponder and meditate on it day and night, making sure you practice
everything written in it. Then you'll get where you're going; then
you'll succeed. Haven't I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don't be
timid; don't get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take."