Today's testimony was intense. I am totally drained - physically and emotionally. We listened to the rest of Jose's videotaped confession. He was so strung out on drugs that his memory of that fateful morning is very foggy to say the least. The way he repeatedly described the stabbings was very difficult to listen to.
Jose apparently went to their house in hopes of getting jewelry or a TV - something he could pawn easily for cash. If only he had known that Mom had very little jewelry and they only had 1 older TV in the house perhaps he would have gone to a different house. He also said something about Dad's truck that was sitting in the driveway but for whatever reason, Jose didn't think they were home.
At first Jose said he and "the dude" were "hand fighting". But he was pretty strong for an "old dude". It turned out that they weren't just "hand fighting", as he called it, because Jose had a knife. A very large, long knife. He said he kept stabbing Dad because he didn't want him to suffer. He was obviously wounded so Jose said he wanted to put him out of his misery. He said that Dad just wouldn't stop. Jose just wanted him to stop moving so he had to keep stabbing him. The blow that caused Dad to finally stop moving punctured Dad's lung. He could have died from many of the different deep wounds but that was the one that did it.
You could tell Jose was very upset about Mom's death. At first Jose said he was the only one in the house but another time he said someone named Steven actually killed Mom (although he couldn't remember Steven's last name). Jose said he can't get the image of Mom's face out of his head and that she didn't have to die. When Mom fell to the kitchen floor after she had been stabbed her so forcefully it penetrated her sternum and sliced her aorta open, her arms were outstretched. Her feet were perfectly together. Her body formed the shape of a cross. Her beautiful face and lifeless eyes staring up at him from the cold kitchen floor.
After that Jose just wanted to get out of there. He had to jump over all the blood to get out the door (Dad's body was found in the entryway in a very large pool of blood) because he didn't want to "track" and he took off running. He said he "woke up" and he was running. He noticed he was covered in blood so he stopped and washed himself off in a mud puddle. At that point he was coming off the drugs and he really wasn't sure what had happened - a very bad dream.
Mind you, the interrogation lasted for hours and they kept going over and over these descriptions as the detective was trying to get Jose to remember - looking for a new clue - something that would let him know if he acted alone or if others were involved. Grueling!
Toward the end of this interview (which was over 7 hours long!) he was given the opportunity to write a letter stating what had happened and apologizing to us. It was actually a very moving letter! Of course, it would have meant a lot more if he had pleaded guilty and not put us through all this! I know he is a scared young man.
I will have to process this for a while before I can write too much more about it. I am grateful for so many people who are praying for our family during this time. It is the only thing that has gotten me through thus far. God has truly given me a supernatural peace!
I have mentioned before how I have watched Jose intensely and looked for opportunities to catch his eye. When they were getting ready to break for lunch I was watching Jose as the bailiff led him out of the courtroom. Jose turned and looked right at me. I smiled at him and he smiled back at me. I felt that was a breakthrough.
The state and the defense both rested their cases at the end of the day. In the morning both sides will give their closing arguments and it will be handed over to the jury. With the detailed videotaped confession, and very little offered in the way of defense, I really expect the jury to declare him guilty but you never know until the verdict comes back. Pray for wisdom and discernment for the jury!
Either way, whether they declare him guilty or innocent I want to contact him. He is currently serving a prison sentence for another crime he committed after this so he will remain incarcerated regardless of the verdict making it possible for me to write to him. I need to give that serious consideration.
I see Jose as a broken young man. He grew up in the foster home system, suffered a lot of abuse as a child, and got into drugs at a young age. He fell into a lifestyle of robbing for money to buy drugs. Such a waste of his life so far! But Jesus loves him. Jesus loves to take broken, hurting people and turn them into new creatures!
2 Corinthians 5:17 (Good News Translation)
Anyone who is joined to Christ is a new being; the old is gone, the new has come.