In April, 2011 God showed me loud and clear that I was not in control. As much as I liked to think that I was in the drivers seat, I learned that I controlled nothing. When my brother called me with the shocking news that my Godly mother and father had been killed in their home in Springfield, MO, I thought this is going to be a tough lesson in forgiveness! I'm still going down that road. The killer (or killers) still have not been found. I pray that they are. I want the opportunity to forgive them. I know in God's timing that day will come. Now I want everything in His timing, in His way, not mine.
I was so glad God had pushed me deeper into His Word in the years before this horrific event occurred. I do mean pushed! It was what I needed to really dig into His Word on a regular basis. Several years ago, God called me to lead a lady's Bible study. Such wonderful women. What a blessing! Then He told me to take a Bible study to ladies at our local jail. Another beautiful blessing! Not long after I became active in jail ministry, He led me to facilitate another wonderful group of ladies in a Bible study. With 3 lessons to prepare along with my Sunday School class and small group that I was a part of, I was finally delving into the Word. God knew what He was doing.
In the days that followed the phone call from my brother, I kept going back to one of the Scriptures that God had laid on my heart. I had meditated on it for several years as I worked on turning the controls of my life over to my loving Father.
Romans 12:2 (New Living Transalation) says, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but LET GOD transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you which is good and pleasing and perfect.”
I'm doing my best to rest in God. To surrender control to Him. To LET God transform me into His humble servant so that I will know and do His perfect will for my life.